Nurturing Your Growth Through 'Crowding Out'

The unfolding of growth doesn’t have to be about stripping everything away all at once. Instead, what if we focused on gently planting new seeds, one by one allowing them to naturally shift the landscape of our lives? In this episode, I share with you to the concept of ‘crowding out’, a practice that has supported me for years in making lasting, sustainable change without overwhelm.

We Explore:

• What ‘crowding out’ really means and how it supports sustainable change.
• How small, intentional choices create lasting transformation.
• The areas of your life crowding out can support you
• Why this practice strengthens self-trust and creates nervous system safety.
• How to apply ‘crowding out’ to your own life and gently anchor into your Superbloom Sweet Spot.

This isn’t about forcing change, it’s about devotion to yourself, your well-being, and your expansion. Are you ready to start choosing yourself in the micro-moments that truly matter so that you can live, lead and create from your superbloom sweetspot?

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Transcript

Speaker: 0:36

Welcome back to the podcast. I am going to dive into something today that has been a practice for me for a really long time. Now I am actually recording this episode very early in the morning because I just couldn't sleep. Our, fire alarm woke us up at about 3am and I just didn't go back to sleep. I finished a book and now I'm here to record a podcast. So, here we go. You are getting my morning voice and there is a little bit of rain happening outside. So it's a calming environment, especially after the last few days that have been. And for many is still something that is really present, with the cyclone that happened here, through Southeast Queensland over the weekend. I mean, it's been happening for days and, things really, escalated over the weekend with it hitting landfall and, you know, all of the damage is done. It's, it's quite heartbreaking. So if you are someone or know someone that has been impacted by Cyclone Alfred, I am sending you so much love and so much grace and praying that the relief is brought as soon as possible. Now, this episode today is something that, like I said, it's a practice that I have been practicing, I guess we would say for quite a while now, as the title says, nurturing growth through crowding out, right? Nurturing growth, expansion, reaching your highest self, bringing your. Beautiful visions to life through the art of crowding out. Now you might be thinking like what crowding out is, and I'm going to get into that, but I want to tell you that crowding out was something that I actually learned when completing my integrative health coaching certification. And it's a concept that has supported me ever since. It's something that really landed for me at the time because it was just so simple and it made a lot of sense, especially. for someone at the time who I would get overwhelmed quite easily. There was a lot that I was working through in my life. I was doing this health coaching certification a lot for myself, truly, to really create a beautiful foundation that would support me to live well and live full, moving forward. So it's something that I learned in that space. The concept of crowding out is especially helpful when you're experiencing this overwhelm, right? The experience of the overwhelm to change everything all at once. Like, we get this rush, this, inspiration or motivation or drive, right? To change everything all at once. And Sometimes that can feel a little too much, so it prevents us from taking any action at all, right? Now, this is why crowding out is so helpful. Even more so if you're stuck in like a mindset spiral of needing to fix yourself, it tends to help pull you out of that space. It allows you to shift your focus and start giving yourself more of what you need instead of placing pressure on yourself to clear years of stress and even trauma in what feels like an instant. Like this expectation for us to be able to overcome things with a click of a finger, is pretty wild. And there are definitely modalities and things that help us shift, stress and trauma in the body, like really quickly. Yet. when it comes to our daily way of showing off our daily habits, our practices, the way we show up for ourselves and, you know, in our work and in our relationships. That stuff isn't always there. So it's what we do in these moments that matters and crowding out is one of those things. Now, a great way to think about crowding out is though it is essentially gently planting new seeds, seeds that will naturally shift the landscape of your life for years to come. So what is crowding out? Well, crowding out in its simplest form is investing more of your personal resources, so whether that be time, energy, love, finances, etc., into the things that really serve you, rather the things that don't. So in a way it really helps you to, it's almost a bit of a compound effect. Like it supports the idea of a compound effect and allows you to create lasting change because it removes the pressure of, like I was saying, that instant change that can be quite overwhelming at times. Now, to give you some examples of what this can look like, if you are wanting to maybe make more nourishing choices when it comes to food, instead of berating yourself for all the shoulds,, I should stop eating crap, I should do this, I shouldn't do that, you know, all of this pressure and this guilt tripping ourselves that is really not helpful, start by making one choice each day to choose something that's more nourishing than you previously would have chosen. Just one thing. So start small, start simple. And as the days and weeks go on and you continue this practice, continue to choose differently, continue to crowd out the things that don't serve you by choosing the things that do, you will find that you will feel more vital. You will feel like it has created this lasting change. It's more of a lifestyle thing rather than a, you know, a diet thing or anything like that. It's something that is just a part of your every day then, because it has been. integrated into your life in a way of less pressure. So it's much easier to maintain, essentially. Now, another great example is using social media and the scrolling, right? Like the doom scroll. So instead of forcing yourself to quit mindlessly scrolling, which many of us can get in the trap of quite easily. add intentional moments of creativity of connection or movement. And eventually you will see that habit shift because you're choosing, you're making a different choice, right? You're choosing something like creativity, connection, or movement that is helping to crowd out the habit that you don't want to keep. Because you're replacing it with something else, right? It's a pretty simple concept, but one, and I think it's one of those things too, sometimes when things are so simple, we can devalue them. We can think that they need to be a lot more complex than they are to have impact. Yet, the reality is, the most simple things are the things that are the most deeply transformative. And especially In the long run, now, when it comes to crowding out as a practice, it can be applied to so many things, like almost anything, to give you some other top line examples, it can be applied to anything wellness related habits, mindset shifts, even relationships, like if you have relationships in your life that don't feel that good for you anymore. You can start spending more time with people that do, right? Start investing your energy and your love and your time and attention in those that have shared values, those that when you leave you feel good. You don't feel drained, right? Now, in many ways, it's a shift from restriction to expansion because when we are giving ourselves things that deplete us, when we are investing our energy and you know, these personal resources and things that don't expand us, that don't make us feel good, we are restricting ourselves, right? We're keeping ourselves small. We're keeping ourselves from the, deep cellular wellness that we can experience. from an energetic perspective, this is all incredibly powerful, so incredibly powerful. I mean, the energy of intention itself is so powerful. Now crowding out is also an incredible practice to strengthen self trust because you're practicing, listening to your inner wisdom, and then you're following through. The follow through is what helps to the listening. Yes. And then the following is what following through is what helps to build that self trust that helps to cement it deeper and deeper. The other one is nervous system safety, because you're giving yourself more of what you need and it's integrating change without the shock of too much all at once. These a lot all at once can be like stressful in our nervous system. It can be a lot for us to take on. So doing this incremental change, crowding things out intentionally and slowly and with presence is a really beautiful way to create safety in your nervous system. Because not only are you, like I say, giving yourself more of what you need, your nervous system, in interlinking with this self trust, like You're building more self trust, you're building nervous system safety, like that is just such a beautiful recipe for thriving, right? Now when it comes to anchoring your super bloom through crowding out, I want you to think about what are the areas of your life where crowding out as a practice could support your super bloom. Now, we talk about super bloom as your, your super bloom sweet spot, the place that you are when you feel truly well, like down to your bones, you feel so content. You feel, anchored in what you love, your relationships feel good, your health feels good. And, and I mean, we are human life can be a lot. So this isn't something that you anchor into forever and always, and it never shifts and moves. This is a devotional practice, right? You are to be devoted to your super bloom sweet spot. And crowding out is a practice that helps you get there and stay there more frequently and more often, spend more time there and not be dragged away from it. So having a think about what are the areas of your life where crowding out could support your super bloom. Maybe it's thinking about new habits that feel nourishing. Maybe it's environments that support your safe expression and growth, like places you feel like you can truly be yourself. It could be relationships that feel expansive, where you truly feel seen and heard. Right? Maybe these are things that you want more of. How can you implement crowding out to integrate these things into your life? Now, no matter what it is that you are applying this principle of crowding out to, it's important to remember not to rush the process because the lasting impact comes when you allow things to unfold with patience and presence, right? Patience and presence. This practice has been especially helpful for me personally when it comes to shifting my mindset. And also practices relating to my health, particularly thinking about mindset. I remember, I mean, I still do this to this day. Every time I find myself or have found myself in a space of self sabotage, where I notice I'm doing things that are sabotaging myself, my growth, where I want to be, what I want to create, or my monkey mind has taken over and it's starting to tell me all these crazy stories that when I sit with it, I'm like, Hmm, that's just not true. That's just my monkey mind trying to like keep me safe, essentially. I take a deep breath and I would always take a deep breath and choose another thought. Right. Choose another thought. It's acknowledging maybe what my monkey mind is saying. Thank you for the concern. However, I'm going to choose this, right? I'm choosing another thought, the self sabotage. I recognize you're trying to keep me safe. However, I'm going to do it anyway. I'm going to do the thing that this part of myself is trying to protect me from, right? Because it has some idea that it's going to create some sort of catastrophe. But it's not, so I would choose another thought or choose another act, choose the action and affirm to myself that I was safe and take the action or change my mindset and I will continue to choose it. This is the thing. It's not as if I, recognize that my monkey mind, and then I say it once like, no, no, no, no, I'm not doing that. I'm going to choose something else. And then I choose it once and it's over. This is a continuous thing, right? Crowding out is choosing yourself over and over again, essentially. It's a beautiful practice to do that. Now when we think about being intentional with the practice of crowding out, because with anything, intention is everything. Being intentional with the practice of crowding out will allow you to make space for more of what truly matters. So it's like a natural unfolding, right? It's a natural unfolding of letting go when you introduce more of what aligns the things that don't. The things that don't feel good, the things that don't nourish you, they will naturally start to fall away. And it's really interesting when I think about the ways that I have utilized crowding out in the past. And then, a bit down the line, I've. You do the work and you make the choices and things. And then you think, Oh, is this even doing anything? Is this even working? And then you get to a place where all of a sudden, let me know if you've experienced this as well, is you get to a place and you're like, Oh wow, that it's paid off. Like it really does work. I actually had these recently over the last few days of with this cyclone hitting, I, It was really calm, like freakishly calm. And we had a pretty crazy couple, a few weeks traveling and my body was out of rhythm. My nervous system felt a little bit fried, like a little bit fried, just not being in a space and, a few things happening. And I, I really, I recognized when all of this was happening, there was all this stress around me. And I have this ability to really tap into the energy of the collective and the energy around me. And I, I just, I was so calm, like, and I had this moment of, Oh, wow. It like all of those things they really work. It was just this reminder. It's like I know it mentally right? I know it cognitively I can tell you that yes, it matters yet having these moments of realizing that oh, no This this stuff really works like these simple little practices They have such a big impact the more that you compound them and it's so Worth making those choices in every single moment, right? It's as I've always said, and I, I've said through a lot of my writing, what matters is what you choose in the micro moments of nothingness. Like the change happens in the micro moments of nothingness. It doesn't happen at the big bang, right? There's micro moments that lead to that big bang. And that is what creates the change. So, I mean, just remember that when you are thinking about, implementing this practice, like if you're ever, having a moment where it's like, Oh, is this even doing anything? is this even worth it? I promise you it's worth it. Now, you might be thinking, how do you know when something needs to go, right? How do you know when change needs to happen? Some signs that could be niggling is when you're feeling drained versus Like full on energy, right? You know those spaces or those people or conversations even as simple, like it might not be the people but it's these certain conversations that come up that feel more like energy drains rather than energy givers, like that is a prime example of where something is misaligned and it's, there needs to be change, there needs to be crowding out. another one is when things feel forced as opposed to natural. And I always think about this comparison or not even comparison, but just the contrast between normal versus natural and how so many of us are continued to go about life as what's normal, right? Choosing what's. instead of choosing what is natural. And when you think about the distinction between the two, it's really interesting because we are here and designed to, Invest in what's natural, spend our time, energy, and everything on what feels natural. We're meant to move about the world in a way that feels natural. We're not meant to move against our natural rhythm, right? Our natural instincts. The conditioning tells us that we should, however, that's not the case. Something else could be, when you hear yourself saying should. The word should, anytime you should on yourself, Tell your inner self to shoot off, we don't need to be shooting at ourselves. That is a prime example and a, like a ping to pivot. I'll often talk about the not self in human design and how they are like a ping to make a pivot. Right? Same thing. When you hear yourself saying, I should, or I shouldn't, it's a ping to pivot, pivot your perspective, pivot your action, pivot your decision, pivot whatever it is, because I can guarantee you this shooting on yourself is not getting you to where you want to be. Saying yes. When you want to say no, this is a big one. This is a big one because I know so many of you do it. Sometimes I still catch myself doing it and I catch myself, I acknowledge it, and I make the shift, right? And these days it's on things that are pretty small. And it's usually when I'm, if I'm extra tired and I am, not as well like nourished and rested and things like that. And my capacity isn't there to be as quick, essentially, is tends to be when it happens. But saying yes, when you want to say no, is a really good signal. That. Something needs to change. And the last one I want to point out is that internal niggle. That just won't leave you alone. You know, the one, the one way you just getting this like, Oh, this inner niggle. And it's just like, do this or don't do that or whatever. And it's not like the ego that's really loud. And it's full of fear. It's just this quiet whisper. It's just the do this. Don't do that. Go here. Don't go there. Turn here and It's when you are noticing this continually coming up, if you're ignoring it, you're ignoring possibility, you're ignoring opportunity, you're ignoring abundance, right? By ignoring these niggles. And I get it. A lot of the time, these niggles, they feel so illogical. And the important thing to remember is that intuition and spirit and everything that comes with it is not concerned about being logical. They're concerned about you living your most optimal life, you living in, joy and abundance and wellness and success in your unique way. Your intuition never has anything to prove. The mind and the ego always has something to prove, right? Which is really interesting when you start to sort of observe it. Now, most importantly of all, know that you are trustworthy. Remember you are trustworthy and you can trust that inner knowing. I think sometimes we forget that we are actually trustworthy because we've been taught that we're not. We have been taught to outsource our authority and our trust to the world around us when in reality we need to bring that right back. We need to really anchor that back within ourselves. Trust what you know. Trust what you feel. Because you are trustworthy. That inner niggle, the one that your mind can't make sense of, it is so trustworthy. Now, this reminds me, there was a book that I read a while back and there was these opening words that have stuck with me ever since. And they always pop up when I'm speaking about, you know, things like inner wisdom and self trust. And those words were, I know you've suspected much of what you're about to read, and I'm here to tell you that you were right all along. Now, I'm not going to pretend like letting go and change is easy, right? Like a click of a finger, it's so easy and that's just how it's done. Yeah, it is as simple as crowding out. It is as simple as choosing yourself in those micro moments. When we live in a world that really encourages, encourages us and conditions us to not choose ourselves, to choose the other, we are constantly faced with this need to remember that. Showing up for ourselves is important that showing up for ourselves isn't selfish that yes, it might not be easy and yet it is so worth it. Now, any level of change can bring about discomfort, yet it's what you choose to do with that discomfort that matters, right? What you choose to do with what you're given that matters. As I always say, your response is your responsibility. How you respond to anything is your responsibility. It's not always your responsibility what happens to you. We can't always control what happens to us. Now remember that letting go is an act of devotion to yourself. I mentioned earlier the word devotion, it is a devotion to your super bloom and that is a beautiful and a brave thing, right? It sometimes requires bravery and that is okay. It is a beautiful thing. So if you're thinking now about, okay, how do I integrate this? Like, how do I implement this into my life? When we think about integrating the practice of crowding out into your life, there's a few kind of steps, I guess, that I can share with you. And this is not meant to be like a methodical practice, but just to, give you an idea. Firstly, I want you to acknowledge that you are not going to make this any harder than it needs to be. Us humans love to make things hard for ourselves. It's really weird that we do. And secondly, I want you to set an intention to simply begin to notice, just notice, notice what feels clunky. Notice where you don't feel seen and safe. Notice what feelings come up in your body. Notice the spaces you do want to stay versus where you don't want to stay because awareness is always a first step. So start there. Start with just noticing. Noticing. Once you begin to notice patterns or regularities, pick up on one thing. One thing only. We just, we don't need to change everything all at once. Pick one thing. Maybe it's a thing that's bothering you the most and ask yourself what you need or want instead. And then set the intention and make the decision that you will give this to yourself, whatever it is that you want or need over and over again until you need or want something different. Remember, it is a devotional practice. Choosing yourself over and over again is how the transformation happens. Choosing yourself over and over again in those micro moments that you think don't mean anything is where the transformation happens, right? Now the hardest part, showing up for yourself, showing up for your needs and your wants. Like I said, we're conditioned. To make things hard for ourselves. We're conditioned in a way not to show up. We're conditioned to show up for everyone else but ourselves. We put ourselves last. I want to remind you that you are worth showing up for. You don't need to You are inherently worthy of being showing up for. You're worthy of being showing up for just because you exist. Right. Now, maybe you've got to have already a few things that are coming to mind after listening to this episode. And if that's the case, think about what is one thing that you can introduce this week that feels more nourishing? What is one thing that feels misaligned and is ready to be like softened or released? Like maybe you just need to soften. Maybe the intention is to soften, to be less hard. Maybe the intention is to release instead of hold things, hold things that aren't yours to hold. remember that this is not a race. You have nothing to prove, absolutely nothing to prove. And this is something that is about you. And it's for you. And by default, then it also becomes for the world around you. Because when we are anchored into our super bloom, when we are thriving, we Give that energy out to the world without even knowing it, right? Our energy speaks before we do. So if we're nourishing our Super Bloom Sweet Spot, we're nourishing ourselves, we're crowding out what isn't good for us, that doesn't work for us, we will be just Deliciously spreading the most amazing energy. And how magical is that, when you think about it? the world would be much more of a delightful place. That's for sure. So, start small, be patient, and be kind. And honour your own process and your own timeline. There is no perfect timeline. There is no perfect to do list, tick list, one, two, three step. Even though I gave you the idea of sort of how it can play out, use that loosely. Trust yourself, trust your process. Now, I trust that this episode has given you exactly what it's needed. Maybe it was a little tiny peek. Maybe it was the whole thing. I don't know, but I trust that you have been given exactly what you've needed and you've taken that with you. If you have any questions, you can share them in the community Q& A form that is always linked in the description of each episode, unless for some reason down the track it just doesn't exist anymore. However, as of recording this in March of 2025, it really exists. So jump to the description if you have any questions, leave them there and. You can also DM me if you want on Instagram, I love hearing your takeaways, what comes through and listening to these episodes. And I love to extend and continue the conversation. So you are more than welcome to DM me on Instagram at chloebennett. co, which is always also linked in the description of each episode, I'm going to leave it there. Thank you for being with me today. Thank you for sharing your time, your energy and attention. And I'll be back with you soon for another episode.