How To Cultivate Calm Confidence For A More Breathable Business

In this episode, we explore the secret to creating calm confidence for a breathable business experience. 

We dive deep into the benefits of insourcing your authority versus outsourcing it. Highlighting how reliance on external validation can hinder self-trust and disrupt business success. 

By practising self-trust and discerning external advice, you can reconnect with your vision, make authentic decisions, and cultivate a more successful and breathable business environment. 

The episode includes practices to reclaim your inner authority, foster self-leadership, and anchor into a state of calm confidence in life and business.

00:00 Introduction to Calm Confidence

02:20 The Impact of Outsourcing Authority

05:24 Recognizing Outsourcing Patterns

15:08 Reclaiming Inner Authority

21:44 Practical Steps for Reclaiming your Inner Authority

27:11 Conclusion and Next Steps

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Transcript

Chloe: 0:06

Welcome back to today's episode. In this episode, we are diving into the secret of creating calm confidence for a more breathable business experience. Now, this is a conversation that is going to lead us in a direction where it asked of us to be really honest with ourselves and our experience. And it asks of us not to bring any guilt or shame to the conversation simply. Openness and grace and compassion because when you embody what I'm about to speak about, and when you become aware of what I'm about to speak about, You really open yourself up to a much more breathable business experience, even as well in the realm of life, creativity. The supplies to so much. So while I'm speaking to it today in the sense of business, this is very much applicable to the way that you do life as well. And as we go on, you'll be able to connect it to. Maybe particular areas of life that they shows up for you. And also where, you know, maybe it's stronger than others. So if this is your first episode joining us or welcome if you have been here before or welcome back as always make yourself cozy and we are going to dive straight on in. So what I'm speaking to today around the secret to creating calm confidence in business. And to allow you to have a breathable business experience, because that's what we're about here. I want to talk about or authority. And in the way of whether we insource or outsource our authority, because what has been so. Stand out to me in my time of coaching in both a business sense. In health and life sense. Especially when it came to all the work that I did with clients around specifically self-trust this was so prevalent. And. What I'm speaking to is the hidden impact of outsourcing your authority. This is what is keeping you from a breathable business. It is really impacting your ability to have a breathable business. Now I'm going to go deep into Intuit all in, you know, speaking a lot about whether it be outsourcing or insourcing our authority. And how you can move forward and, you know, come back to center with it all. So let's dive in. Now, when it comes to outsourcing your authority, the reason that this is something too you wander, you really aware of is because outsourcing authority leads you to rely heavily on others, opinions, beliefs, perceptions, and this can create a disconnect from your truth. And why this is so dangerous, especially in the way of business and creativity. Is because it takes you away from yourself and in doing so you then start to abandon yourself in terms of your needs, your own truth, your own vision, your own opinions. And. It's really can be like quite damaging to the way that you show up in business and how you create how you lead. And this is something that starts to be really obvious on the outside is when you are not leading from your own inner authority in instead you're outsourcing your authority, you are basically creating and leading a business based on the perceived per sorry, perceptions, opinions, beliefs you know, social conditioning. of those you're taking advice from right now. It's not to say that. Coaches and mentors and support team and everything is isn't amazing because it is, I mean, I'm a coach and mentor myself. I get it. The thing that needs to happen though, is any isn't happening enough is our discernment in what is for us and what is not. Now. Too much of outsourcing your authority can lead you to believe whether it's consciously or unconsciously that others know better than you. Others know better than you in terms of maybe what is the best strategy to create and lead? What is the best offer to create? I mean, I see this a lot, especially in the human design community and when people find human design, they often ask of human design too. I tell them what sort of work they should do, the kind of offers they should create, and this is outsourcing out or authority to assist them, you know? So it doesn't always have to be. Mentors and coaches, it can also be systems and, you know, personality tests and all sorts of things, things that are there just to be tools to support us, we can really outsource our authority to them. Now. This reliance on external input. So external authority can really prevent you from being able to connect with your own vision and really see the path forward. This is a conversation that I've had with so many visionaries about. Them feeling disconnected from their vision disconnected from their business, not knowing the steps to take. You know, not knowing what's ahead of them, the puff forward, like what they should do, what they shouldn't do. And it's this real confusion and lack of clarity and something that I see that gets them to that place and gets in the way of that clarity. Is the way that they outsource their. Decision-making their inspiration, their creative process. And instead of really coming back in. And doing that within themselves, or, you know, like seeking the guidance outside of themselves, but then running it back through their internal filter. So that they're clear on what isn't isn't for them. Now, when it comes to this, obviously this episode I speak about in the title, how to create calm cult, sorry, how to create calm confidence, but more breathable business. And the reason that I'm speaking to the impact of outsourcing your authority is because by you constantly seeking validation from others, you're undermining your confidence and revoking your ability to make autonomous, authentic choices that align with you and your values and your needs. So this is what's getting in the way of that calm confidence, where you can live lead and create from a place of calm confidence, where. You trust yourself to make decisions you trust in your discernment of what's right for you. And what's not, you know, the road and the path to take. Now, when it comes to out sourcing authority is something that is really prevalent is the fact that it is a means of self-preservation. So I, I bring this to you with an understanding and an awareness that when it comes to outsourcing our authority and when we get deep in this pattern of doing so. There is a reason for it, right? It hasn't come from nowhere and there can be so many layers to it. And this is something that is unique to each client. I work with when we explore this. Is. How are they getting something out of it? So what is the secondary gain of outsourcing their authority? You know, quite often it can be a way of trying to avoid. Failure, you know, with a fear of failure to avoid responsibility, to avoid rejection, there is something that outsourcing their authority gives them. So. I ask you. To contemplate. If you are in a place of outsourcing your authority, you can think to someplace in business or life where you are outsourcing your authority. What do you get out of it? Like B this is where we bring the grace and the compassion like, well, what do you actually get out of it? I'm going to give you a couple of examples. So when we outsource our authority to others, You might be doing it to avoid taking full responsibility for any outcomes or any decisions. Right. This can give you a sense of safety and protect, whether it be your ego or your shadow, shadow self from potential failures or mistakes. And when I say failures or mistakes, I mean, potential, you know, perceived failures or mistakes. So things that you. C as a, as a failure, essentially. Another example, speaking to fear of failure. It can lead you to seek external validation excessively. So if you're someone who experiences a fear of failure, this is something that is likely to be pretty prevalent for you, because what happens is you begin to rely on others, opinions and decisions so that you can shift the burden of responsibility onto them. In an attempt to avoid any perceived risk or failure. Another example is outsourcing your authority to, like I mentioned before, coaches and mentors or support team without asking yourself if their guidance is true and correct for you. It's all well and good to put ourselves in these spaces to get the support. It is absolutely at times necessary. Not always, but there are times and spaces for it. Now when we get into containers and I say this from personal experience, it's really important to go in with a hat of discernment on. So when you enter the space of being guided by someone else, please, please, even with me. Put your discernment hat on and always ask yourself, does this feel true and correct for me? You might be someone who doesn't know that in the moment you might be someone who, you know, for example, you have emotional authority in human design. So your process might look like you taking this, you know, advice or guidance. And riding your wave. So it's sleeping on it. It's sitting with it. It's letting it percolate a little bit and getting clarity around if it feels true and correct for you quite often in my own experience as an emotional authority, the way that this has played out for me is that. I have been in spaces, specifically spaces. I mean, I think most spaces actually I've been in, have been guided by a sacral beings. So, you know, manifesting generator generator, and I get high off that sacral energy of that excitement. Right. And in the past outsourcing my authority has looked like getting high on that and then taking action on that. Not giving myself the space to use my own discernment, to put my discernment hat on, to ride my wave and to discover if. It's for me or not. In doing so it led me to release offers that weren't aligned for me, that actually really burnt me out and started to make me feel better. Which as a projector, isn't a vibe. And it just really left me so disconnected from my vision, from my creative source. From my way of creating, even it just left me, really disconnected from myself. So I share that to let you know that, you know, like I say, coaches and mentors and healers and guidance. It's incredible. What makes it even more powerful though, is when we bring to the table, our own discernment and our own authority. When we come into spaces for guidance, it's not a space. You don't enter spaces to hand over your authority and, you know, get all the answers. It is a collaborative. Effect, right. It's a collaborative experience needs to be in order to be truly supportive and truly expansive for you. It needs to be collaborative. You need to bring your own. Or authority and discernment to the spaces where you're receiving guidance. And that is where you will see. Breathability in your business, you will see the success that you're looking for. Now. When it comes to outsourcing. Another thing that can show I've met in business is that it's also a, I mean, this is also relevant to life as well, but. It's also a form of self protection against any vulnerability or any uncertainty or rejection. And something, I want to point out that isn't always obvious to people until you kind of sit and think about it. And I think, you know, we leave quiet, go, go, go live sometimes. Right? So we don't always sit in these places of contemplation to really pick up on it yet. When you are outsourcing your authority to avoid, you know, vulnerability or uncertainty or rejection, but specifically rejection. In this example, I'm going to share with you. To avoid rejection by outsourcing your authority, you are playing out the very thing you're trying to avoid. By rejecting your own authority by rejecting your own truth. So the rejection that you are trying to avoid by outsourcing your authority. You are rejecting your own inner authority and you are simply living into an experiencing rejection in a different way. In a worse away. Really. Because you're rejecting your own truth, your, your self abandoning, right? This act of self preservation is actually self-abandonment and this does not serve you in life or business. Now something that. Might show up on a little bit of maybe a lighter note. Is when in business. Decision making is delegated to others out of a fear of being seen as competent or inexperienced. And this comes back to the notion of, you know, I'm not enough. I don't know enough. I don't have enough X, Y, Z. We tend to feel like we are in some way at times, and this isn't for everyone. These can be isolated experiences. We can feel incompetent or inexperienced, and this can lead us to handing our decisions over to, like I say, to coaches, to mentors, to support team, to anyone outside of yourself, to human designed, to astrology anything. Right. We do this so that we can, like I said earlier, handover the blame to pass the buck, basically. Now. With all of this, it can be a lot. It really can. I absolutely understand. So let's dive into why it is so important to insource your authority and what that looks like and what that means now in the sourcing, your authority requires a high level of self-trust and self-leadership. And let's be real. It's not always comfortable. Self-trust and self-leadership. Can cause discomfort. It is a part of the process, right. So know that it's not always going to be comfortable yet in order to fully live into your inner authority and lead from that place. If you have been in a place of outsourcing your authority, especially, it's going to require you to walk through a little bit of discomfort. To really get to a place of self-trust and self-leadership. Trusting ourselves and our decisions can be more challenging. Than outsourcing to others. Because we have to look inward, right? We have to look at our own stuff. And there are times where, you know, we might have an expectation for something to happen and roll out a certain way. And it doesn't. And then we feel like we have to process that ourselves because we were the ones who made the decision to do the thing that way. Right. And that can be. Uncomfortable as hell. I like to sit there and go, okay. Like I, I chose to do this and this is the result I've got to just be okay with that. But the beautiful thing is the more that you do this, the more that you insource your authority and get, and get to sit with those moments of discomfort, you begin to realize that it's all a part of the process, and it actually means nothing about the person that you are. It means nothing about your capability or you know, how trustworthy you are, how knowledgeable you are. It doesn't mean anything about you, unless you make it mean something about you. So choosing to trust. Yourself and really anchor your inner authority. It gives you the beautiful gift of breathability in the sense of you learn to just let things go. You learn to stop giving things, meaning that don't need it. Right. We don't need to make failure or, you know, Certain results mean things about us. And I mean, this goes for success as well. We don't need to make meaning out of how much money we earn as it reflects upon us as a person. Right. It doesn't need to happen. When we in-source our authority, a really beautiful thing happens. We open up our own clarity and our own truth. And this is where we get to connect back to our vision and see a really clear path forward. And even if you don't see the entire road ahead, you don't have every step of the way. It feels more inviting. You get to be curious about it instead of fearful of it. Right. We get to be in relationship with our visions and really, really anchor into such deep trust that we know that we have and can handle the choices that we make and the results that we've received as part of those choices. Now, when it comes to recognizing when you're outsourcing authority, I have a couple of notes how to recognize it, essentially notice if your constantly seeking. Out others to make decisions for you instead of trusting your own judgment. And this can be in the sense of whether you initially don't ask yourself for, you know, let's say you're making a decision. You immediately outsource to others, or you go to make the decision yourself and you get to a place yet. There's something inside that you feel uncomfortable. So you go and outsource your authority to someone else and get them to make a decision and share their perspective. And then you follow that without. Taking it through, you know, your own discernment process. Right? So notice if that is a thing for you. Pay attention to if you're blindly following advice from coaches or mentors or support team. Without connecting. And questioning if it aligns with your truth, if it is true and correct with, for you. Also another really simple practice can actually be to simply reflect on your daily choices, the choices you are making day in and day out from really tiny micro choices to macro choices, things like how do you dress? How do you come to a place of deciding how you dress? How do you express yourself? How do you create, how do you lead? How do you go about the way of business strategies? And then ask yourself with all of these collections of reflections, ask yourself, is there anywhere that you're in conflict with your own authority by looking outside of yourself, instead of being anchored in your own inner authority and seeking your aunts from within. Now. When I say these these season. All bad. Like, I'll give you an example of, for example, you know, how you dress like making the daily choice of how you dress. When it comes to things like this. The question is, you know, using the example of how you dress, you might find that you love to get on like Pinterest. You've got a Pinterest board of black. Outfits and things that you really love, right? That feel really you and you want to replicate, and you want to replicate them in a way that fits you, your vibe, your body, your energy, all of the above. Brilliant. Right. Because you're taking something and then your tweaking it to be applicable and correct for you. You're tweaking it to fit it. So you're, you know, you're comfortable in what it is you're wearing. You feel confident, and that is a really good thing. Where we can see this go awry is when you're making a decision to, you know, Get dressed, like choose your clothes and you're making it based on what you think will make you appear more attractive to others. Want more? Take it seriously. Loved over received better. All of the above, right. We're outsourcing our authority in that sense. That's just a really simple example of how it can show up. So when it comes to reclaiming your own inner authority, here's what I want you to do. And this is not a. Step 1, 2, 3. You know, this is simply things to be aware of and little practices that you can do. So when it comes to reclaiming your inner thought or authority, it's really important to practice. Self-trust like I mentioned earlier, self-trust is so important. In this process, it's something that can be a little bit icky to move through. It can be a little bit uncomfortable yet. Just know on the other side of that. Discomfort. There is a sense of calm confidence waiting for you. So practice self-trust by making small decisions from your inner authority. And I encourage you to start small and build up, especially if you have been outsourcing. Previously, whether that be a little or a lot, like you don't need to give yourself self. Whiplash in the process. Like it's not about. You know, condemning yourself and going okay now. And I need to make every decision now for my inner authority, like just slow down. So lower down. We absolutely want to get there, but you don't have to give yourself whiplash in the process, like start small start where it feels digestible and achievable. And slowly work your way up. And when it comes to. This as well. Another practice is to create a practice of checking in with yourself. Before seeking external opinions and asking yourself. Do I actually need that opinion. Or perspective or, decision. Or do I need to practice self-trust in this moment? When you take a moment just to ask yourself that simple question. You are gifting yourself a sense of awareness that you didn't have before you're slowing down. And a lot of this, a lot of reclaiming our, you know, authority. It is in the slowing down, right? It is in the taking a moment to connect with ourselves and ask what feels true and right for you. So creating a practice of checking in with yourself before seeking external opinions or direction is so important and a beautiful practice to embody. And you can also do this in the way of after. So if you. You know, seek that external direction or guidance. Really then pull that back and assess that you. Does this feel true for me? Does this feel correct for me? And maybe it's that it doesn't entirely, but it actually sparks something and you maybe get piece of it feels right for you. So you just take that little piece. You take the break from not the whole loaf, right? And when it comes to. Self leadership. This is an interesting one because self-leadership is all a part of this as well. I mean, being an anchored into your own inner authority is a way of self-leadership to embody yourself leadership ensure that you are actively setting and honoring boundaries on how much external input you take in. And instead. You know, really take some, some of that time that you've been putting into taking in things from the outside. Turn it and prioritize connecting with you in a guidance. So instead of maybe. Scrolling for. You know, minutes, maybe hours, I don't know. On end. You know, consuming content, like consuming podcasts and books, and you know, all of the things consuming everything externally, taking time to really prioritize connecting with yourself. And you're in a guidance and these can simply be a matter of like asking yourself questions and being more active and present in your decision making process. Like when it's deciding what you want to eat, really being present with the question of asking yourself, what do I want to eat today? And just being present with it. Simply being present with it. And instead of taking in, you know, all of the things around you of what you should eat, what you should need, it's like, okay, what, what do I want to eat? And just being present with that. And even if you don't move forward with what it is you want. Or maybe what it is you need. The simple act of recognizing and being with that decision. And listening. That is a step in the right direction. So in all of this, in all of your, you know, coming back to your own inner authority, to cultivate calm confidence for a more breathable business and life. In all of this know that every step forward, no matter how big or small is a step in the right direction. And a little bonus for you. little bonus, his practice is to review in your life and in your business, your support system. And ask yourself, do these feel like spaces where. Your own inner authority is honored. Your own inner authority is welcomed. Really get clear on the safe spaces, because this will also show you where it's safe for you to practice really anchoring into your inner authority and begin to build the confidence to take it elsewhere, to broaden your horizons, to maybe practice inner authority in spaces that it hasn't been so welcomed in the past. Now I'm going to leave you with that conversation. If you have any reflections or questions. I remember there is the AMA form. Linked in the show notes. So you can share those with me there. If you want to have a further conversation about creating a more breathable business for yourself and what that might look like through the lens of how I can support you. DM me on Instagram. I would love to chat to you. I do have an offer that is called breathable business oracle. It is such a beautiful offer. And it is something that is really anchored in supporting you to insource your authority to create a business that lets you breathe where you don't have to abandon yourself because. That is never, ever part of the success formula that I create for my clients. It is all personalized. It is inner authority led it is delicious. I'm going to leave you with that conversation. I trust that it is served you in exactly the way it has meant to today. And I look forward to being back in your ears very soon.